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Wheelie bins are often in the news, but usually for all the wrong reasons. From being used to transport stolen goods during robberies, to being melted down to smouldering blobs of plastic around Bonfire Night by disrespectful pyromaniacs, it’s actually quite rare for there not to be an article under Google News when you run a “wheelie bin” search.
This week is no exception. According to the South Wales Evening Post, a 27-year-old man called Kieran David Hopkins was acting aggressively in Swansea’s city centre. He was caught on CCTV and police were called out to calm him down and arrest him if required. All pretty standard so far.
Arriving at the scene, the police officers were unable to detain Hopkins because he ran away and concealed himself in a wheelie bin behind some shops. Believe it or not, we’ve read one or two similar news reports this year alone, but then Hopkins did something that sets him apart from his peers: he began to hurl abuse at the police officers, all whilst squeezed inside a wheelie. He must have looked like an adult version of Oscar the Grouch.
Liberally scattering his diatribe with expletives and even racist slurs that included an unsavoury insinuation involving sheep, Hopkins was arrested and taken into custody at Swansea Central police station. But that didn’t stop him from continuing to verbally abuse the officers, despite no longer being under cover of durable polyethylene.
The article doesn’t state what size wheelie bin Hopkins hid inside, but we assume it will have been a standard 240-litre model. Still, there’s always a chance that he may be a skinny individual and managed to fit into a compact 140-litre wheelie, or perhaps he was able to put his feet up by choosing a spacious 1100-litre beast. We guess we’ll never know, because for some reason newspapers don’t seem to think that such details are important. Silly reporters.