The Month in Wheelie Bin Headlines
Forget the generic headlines, we know you want the ones that are specifically about wheelie bins, you cheeky devils! So without further ado...
'Criminals break into football club and use wheelie bin to remove loot'
The Bucks Herald
Wednesday 4 June
Not again. It seems not a week goes by these days without someone using a wheelie bin as a conveyance for stolen goods. This time it was a bunch of b… er… burglars that broke into the Risborough Rangers’ grounds in Princes Risborough. Once in, they placed the stolen cash till and donations jar into the bin and fled, having caused a fair amount of damage to the buildings. The till was worth £250 and contained about £100, whilst the jar had about a tenner in change inside.
Police are now looking for a bunch of yobbos trying to sell a secondhand till and empty jar down Princes Risborough market, using an upended wheelie bin as a table.
'Wanted man arrested after hiding in wheelie bin in Horsham'
West Sussex Country Times
Thursday 5 June
So, a guy wanted by the police is walking through a neighbourhood and the fuzz just happen to be close by, dealing with an unrelated incident. Spooked, he doesn’t simply run away, he starts fence hopping -- not suspicious in the least. The police naturally follow him on foot, only to lose him shortly after. But never fear, the local copper chopper is at hand, and with a swift swoop of thermal imaging they find the bad guy hiding in a wheelie bin.
“He was quite elusive,” said one of the police officers.
Yes, he was a bit, what with him hiding in someone’s bin and all that.
'Sutton Coldfield couple dismayed after failing to get a wheelie bin after months of requests'
Royal Sutton Coldfield Observer
Saturday 14 June
Paul and Marie Kibler pay their taxes just like everyone else, and yet for some reason Birmingham City Council just won’t deliver them the wheelie bin that they ordered. Six months this has been going on, yet the couple are totally and utterly binless, bin-free, sans bin, despite numerous neighbours flaunting theirs on a daily basis, taking them for walks and feeding them empty Pringles cans and Milk Tray boxes. Plus Paul is a self-employed gardener, so chances are that the Kibles have more grass cuttings than the average household.
‘The service has checked all records and can find no order for them,’ said the local council. ‘If the couple can show proof of payment, we will of course get a bin to them.’
How very gracious.
'Is it a train? Is it a wheelie bin? Rail service rubbished by worker'
Thursday 19 June
Actually, there’s very little else to add to this. Someone, whilst waiting for their train, took a video on their phone of a rail worker unhurriedly and unabashedly removing individual items of rubbish from a bin using a litter picker. As if this isn’t odd in itself (seeing how the point of a bin bag is to throw the bag away, or at least empty it into a larger receptacle), she then leisurely walks over to the train and deposits the litter in its waiting carriage.
Maybe it's a badly thought-out publicity stunt by the rail network to make us all upgrade to first class?
So that's your wheelie bin headlines for June. Tune in next month for flying wheelie bins, adulterous wheelie bins, wheelie bins that can belch the alphabet -- anything is possible when it comes to wheelies!